The phrase love languages outline the five ways of expressing and experiencing a love that is coined by author Gary Chapman. Each of us actually has a preference for how we want to experience love expressed to us by our loved ones. So in honor of Valentine’s Day, I decided to have a whole day of self-care based around all 5 love languages. Below is a breakdown of my results for the 5 Love Language Quiz, check it out!
|9||Words of Affirmation|
|4||Acts of Service|
Spending Quality Time
Nothing says “I love you” more to me than quality time spent with my loved ones. I enjoy spending a couple hours talking and sharing my feelings, undisturbed from daily distractions rather than going shopping.
One of my favorite quality time activity is traveling, and this takes me to my favorite destination ever, Asheville, North Carolina. Located about 2 hours away from Charlotte, the dreamy and hipster vibe of this city has been drawing thousands of visitors every year. As for me, it is one of the places that I frequent every several months. Asheville is my pilgrimage destination whenever I need to recharge and relax. It’s not too far from home but it is far enough for me to call it a hike.
It was a solo trip and I spent most of the time wondering about the different boutique shops, a bookstore, and people watch. My travel companion was a DSLR, a camera that I have been too busy to pick up. Rather than showing most of my travel on social media, I mostly took photos on my camera as a token of my pilgrimage. I took myself to Curate, one of my favorite restaurants in town. I ordered all of the dishes that Andy and I came to enjoy. I requested a bar seat rather than a table, all of the action in the kitchen was enough to keep me from feeling lonely. Yes, it was lonely.
I was missing Andy, I was missing my little, and friends. As fulfilling as it was, it was lonely not being to share your experience with another person. It will definitely make you notice yourself more, notice your likes and dislikes, your travel taste, and your level of comfortableness. After the meal, I spent the rest of my time at a teashop, writing away on my journal with frequent breaks for Jasmin Peal tea.
Words of Affirmation
Maybe because I tend to put so much pressure on myself to do well at work, being a good friend or girlfriend, or a good daughter to my family that I always have the need for external validations from others. I like to know that my loved ones appreciate having me in their lives, I like to be praised with meaningful compliments.
During my stop at a teashop in Asheville, I decided to open my journal and start writing myself a thank you letter. We always show gratitude to the people around us, yet we tend to show gratitude to ourselves. And since it wasn’t something that I tell myself often, it was an emotional experience filled with happiness, relief, and guilt.
If you don’t know where to start, it can be something like, “Hi, I want to tell you to thank you for dressing me and feeding me today. Thank you for all the choices you made in order for me to have another safe and secured day”. It doesn’t have to be flowery (unless that’s how you like to express your feelings), and you are talking to the person that knows you best, yourself.
I’ve always been iffy when it comes to receiving gifts because I don’t want others to spend money on me. I always value experience compares to gifts giving because it lasts longer in my memory compares to a physical gift. But I do appreciate it when I receive meaningful gifts, something that is personal to me and can add to my life.
For the sake of a physical gift, I decided to treat myself to a new skin serum and eye cream from Glossier. There are not many things that I like to splurge on, outside of tech, food, and travel, skincare products are some of my biggest splurges. I think that taking care of your outer look is just as important as your health. Having good skin can make you feel more confident. I went through a period of bad skin and I didn’t even want to look at my face. So, spending money to take care of my skin was completely worth it.
Acts of Service
Chores such as doing the laundry, cleaning the room and washing my bathroom are things that never went away. And as I grow older, I learned to be appreciative of a clean and organized space. It is a reflection of my mental state, and I decided to spend an afternoon cleaning my living space.
Outside of cleaning, other acts of service can be meal prepping for the week, setting out your work clothes, washing your car, filling up your gas tank, a trip to the groceries, preparing a nice hot bath, etc.
The most important thing I realized about this is the intention and the attitude you have while doing the job. Think about the last time you did something nice for someone you love. I bet your thoughts were “I hope they will enjoy this”, “I hope they can relax after seeing this”, “they deserve to have a break” or “I’m so glad I can make it easier for them”. Those should be the same thoughts that you should have while fulfilling this love language. It will help you feel more appreciated and it won’t be annoying chores or errands that you HAVE to do, but it’ll be something you WANT to do.
I enjoy love hugs, hand-holding and embrace, but for some reason when it was put up against the other languages, physical touch was the lowest. Since it was my lowest ranking, I decided to make it my biggest treat during this experience and booked myself a massage.
My body has been quite stiff and I can never relax for more than thirty minutes, so a massage was perfect. I asked for a Swedish, which is between light to medium pressure. I melted during the session because it was so satisfying (that’s the only word I can think of). I’ve been wanting a massage for a while, but I always convince myself that I don’t need it. So I think I will try to treat myself to massage once a month.
I had a great time with this experience since it has been a while since I had quality time for myself. My cup was running low and I felt a little more fulfilled afterward. It helped me to be more intentional with how I spend my time, and how I take care of myself. I always thought that I was taking care of myself by eating right and exercising, but those are important musts. I always realized that I am becoming more comfortable with the idea of taking time for myself. It doesn’t make me feel selfish. Selfcare isn’t selfish.
I rekindled my love for photography, so my creative mind came alive since I had the chance to relax. Our minds can truly recharge and become creative once we can let it be. So I will definitely be more mindful of my habits, daily activities, and thoughts. And I will be more protective of my mental health and energy.
For a visual look into my challenge, please check out my video here! Please watch and comment on your best self-care tips. Furthermore, please share your love language in the blog comment section!